Carnegie once said: "About 15% of a person's success depends on knowledge and skills, and 85% on communication - ability to express one's own opinion and ability to arouse enthusiasm of others."
The same goes for hoteliers. Below are 35 ways to improve your emotional intelligence and communication skills, and I hope you find them helpful.
1. Praise deeds, not individuals
For example, if person you're talking to is a cook, never say, "You're a great cook." Deep down he knew that there were other chefs better than him. But if you tell him that you eat at his restaurant half time a week, it will be a very smart compliment.
2. Expressing praise through a third person
If other side hears your praise indirectly through others, it will be a bigger surprise than if you said it directly to yourself. On contrary, if you criticize other side, do not talk about it to person through a third party, so as not to add fuel to fire.
3. Polite words should be just right
Kind words show your respect and gratitude, so keep them in moderation. Someone did a little thing for you, you just say thank you, sorry to bother you. As for lack of talent and learning, please give me your advice. Such polite words without emotion can be avoided.
4. When other people praise you, just say thank you
When most people praise, they say it's okay or smile. Instead, accept it openly and say thank you directly. Sometimes people compliment us on our clothes or whatever and if you say it's just a bargain! On contrary, it confuses other side.
5. Be generous to value your competitors
When your opponent or someone you hate is being praised, don't rush to say: But... even if you don't agree with other person, you should still say superficially: Yes, he worked hard. . Show your generosity.
6. Criticism also depends on relationships
The right words cannot be harsh, even if you have good intentions, other party may not appreciate them or even misunderstand your good intentions. If you don't have a certain friendship or trust with another person, don't criticize them casually.
7. Criticism can be very nice too
A more acceptable statement is: "I have some thoughts about your... Maybe you can listen to him."
8. Time is very important
Try to avoid symptoms of Monday morning blues, which almost everyone experiences on Monday mornings. Also, do not do this before leaving work on Friday, so as not to spoil other person's weekend mood.
9. Pay attention to occasion
Don't criticize your friends or colleagues in front of strangers, just talk about it behind closed doors.
10. Make suggestions at same time
In addition to criticism, you should alsoput positive suggestions for improvement to make your criticism more persuasive.
11. Avoid answers that shouldn't be spoken
Like: No, that's how it should be... It looks like you're deliberately looking for trouble. In addition, we often hear: Hearing ..., it is similar to news that you can hear from One that is out of place.
12. Other people's answers are indeed correct
That's a bad way to say it. When other party hears this response, they will inevitably think, "Are you consciously asking?" So just call and say yes!
13. Get rid of useless mantra
Everyone has a habitual mantra when they speak, but people are easily disgusted. For example: Do you understand what I mean, do you understand? , in general... to be honest...
14. Remove unwanted noise
Some people are in habit of adding "ah" and other auxiliary words at end of each sentence, such as "that is to say". Of course, in more formal cases, it will not look solemn enough.
15. Do not ask interlocutor what your company does
You meet someone at an event and they pretend to work for a certain company. Never ask: what does your company do? This event may be hosted by their company and it would be embarrassing if you didn't know. And don't say: I heard you guys are doing great! Because other side could lose 30% of their productivity this quarter. You should say: What is your position in company? Don't ask if you don't know other person's occupation because it's possible they are unemployed.
16. Don't ask people you don't know why
If you lack friendship with each other, ask each other why? Sometimes it has value of questioning and researching people's private lives. For example, why did you do this, why did you make such a decision, these questions should be avoided.
17. Don't think everyone knows you
When you meet someone you've met before but don't know very well, never say, "Do you still remember me?" If other person cannot remember, it will be embarrassing. It's best to introduce yourself first: "Hi, I'm ×××, it's so nice to meet you again."
18. Rejection is not rude
During a meal, if facilitator recommends that you eat something you don't want to eat, you can say, "Sorry, I can't eat this dish, but I'll eat more..." Let other person feel that you genuinely love and appreciate food they cook. If you are full, you can say: "These dishes are delicious, if I'm not full, then I really want to eat more."
19. Don't show that you are better than other side
In a conversation, if someone says they went to New York for a week, don't say you were there for a month last time, it will ruin conversation. It is better to follow other person's words and share your feelings and love for New York.
20. Don't fix other people's mistakesbki
Don't be too cowardly to correct someone's pronunciation, grammar, or facts. Not only will this embarrass other person, but it will also give impression that you are showing off.
21. Don't pretend to understand
If you don't understand a topic, just say frankly, "I don't know subject." Others will not further complicate your life. If you don't understand and pretend to understand, it's easier to say wrong thing.
22. Master One Second Principle
After listening to someone's conversation, pause for 1 second before answering, which means you've just listened carefully. If you answer immediately, it will make people feel as if you were waiting to interrupt interlocutor at any moment. time.
23. Hear unspoken
When you listen to someone, you only hear what other person knows and wants to tell you. In addition to listening, we must also observe. How does he behave? Who are you? How to allocate time and money.
24. Pick a reasonable time
When you need to discuss something with a colleague or manager, you should choose right time depending on importance of your problem. If it's a private matter, don't bother him while he's thinking. If you don't know when other person is free, you can text them first.
25. Smile and refuse to answer personal questions
If you're asked a personal question that you don't want to answer, or a question that makes you uncomfortable, you can smile and say, "I can't answer that question."
26. Turn around and refuse
Drinking is inevitable in many social situations. Don't just say, "I don't drink," spoil everyone. How about saying humorously, "I'm best pourer of wine."
27. Give your name first
If you forget other party's name, take it as a formal occasion. Present your name to other party or take out your business card, and other party will also give you your name and business card, avoiding awkwardness of being able to say other party's name.
28. Megaphone for wrong gossip
When a group of people are talking about someone's gossip or rumors, don't just agree with them because if you say something, it will definitely reach ears of person concerned. It is best not to express your position, but simply say: "I don't know what you said."
29. Place a return order
If you feel like it's almost time to end conversation or see guest off, but other person doesn't seem to want to get up and leave at all, you can say, "Sorry, I have to make a call, this could take a long time..." , or: "Today, thank you very much for coming...". You can also casually glance at your watch to let other person know it's time to go.
30. Let interlocutor feel that he is important
If you ask an elder for help, you canYou can say, "Because I trust you so much, I would like to discuss with you..." to make other person feel respected.
31. Directly describe status quo
When you disagree with your subordinates, don't criticize directly, but explain what differences are.
32. Find a solution
If a subordinate is performing poorly, ask them how to fix problem and don't be intimidating.
33. Take initiative to help
If you can't solve a subordinate's problem for a while, don't say "don't bother me with these things", but tell him "I know someone who can help".
34. The tone of speech should be even
The boss shouldn't say, "I have over ten years of experience, just hear me out." It's better to say, "I've used this method before and it's very effective. Would you like to try it?"
35. Flexible acceptance of secondary opinions
Even if you have your own opinion, don't tell your subordinate, "These proposals have been considered and there is no need to say more." I already have an answer to this question. but still want to hear your opinion
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