Communication. Why we should pay attention to 28th law. The success or failure of people, as well as gains and losses, are related to 28th law.

Original: Li Sheng


It's not just about getting message across

Also convey emotions

Achieving psychology and feeling

Communicating Feelings

In addition

People only speak clearly

It's not enough to be clear

In middle of a speech

Also contains many emotions and experiences

To put it right

Empathic communication skills

"The Law of Twenty-Eight" in Communication

In communication

The Law of Twenty-Eight

means influence

Factors contributing 80% of effect

Only yes

Psychological feelings and sensations, which make up 20% of all communication


Psychological communication

Can have a significant impact on overall communication effect

This is related to psychoeconomics

The so-called psychoeconomics


The price of a product is determined by supply and demand

Not only quality inherent in product

Quality is value


This is largely due to psychological emotions of people

For example

Financial investment

There is a law of psychology - law of confirmation

The more people think about promotions

There will be ups and downs

This will definitely happen soon

This is also called pending validation

But this expectation is justified

The truth is often opposite

People should do opposite


When everyone thinks stocks will rise

Better not buy

Instead of throwing

When everyone thinks stocks will fall

Better buy

Like Buffett said

I want to be afraid when others go crazy

When everyone is afraid, I will go crazy

2. How to become a communication master


The most important thing about communication barriers

Factors include psychology, emotions, attitudes and feelings

Relate to communication

There is a very important offer

First deal with mood, and then with deed


A good communicator knows how to express his emotions

I feel very well-mannered


Good mental attitude and necessary communication skills


Be able to develop empathy

The ability to communicate effectively


and can be very good

These people who listen are said to have high emotional intelligence quotient (EQ)

Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ)

Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) includes four abilities to manage emotions



Know your emotions


Control your emotions


Understanding emotions of others


Influence or control emotions of others


Was explored a hundred years ago


DefiningIQ is not a factor in a person's success

This is an equalizer

Characteristics of workplace of people with high EQ

High EQ people

Can usually take care of other people's psychological feelings

Understanding mental state of others

And be able to make relevant recommendations

High EQ

Don't just know yourself

Control yourself

And he can communicate with himself

Meet others

Capable of influencing psychology and emotions of others

In particular

High EQ workplace characteristics include


Participating employees are happy


Everyone does everything as efficiently as possible


Everyone can reflect self-esteem


High adaptability to changing conditions


Share information and knowledge about new technologies


Promote dignity and worth of individual

So in workplace

Constantly enjoy your work


Promote dignity and worth of individual

Create a high EQ workplace

People want

Become a high EQ person in workplace

You can work hard on following areas


Listen, listen

Find common ground by listening to information

Look for common ground while maintaining differences


Motivate each other

Motivate not only each other, but also yourself


Encourage learning

Let's learn together and succeed together


Maintain positive emotions and overcome barriers to action

Applying an equalizer in conversation

In communication

People should pay attention to use of equalizer

Waiting and psychological preparation

Don't focus on yourself

Pay attention to main points while listening

Listen to overtones

Show sincerity in communication and courage to take responsibility

No position specified

keep calm

No halo effect

Don't jump to conclusions

Don't interrupt when other person is talking

Pay attention when replying and leaving feedback to other party

Know how to choose appropriate feedback method

Communication trend management

Leading Positive Conversation Topics

Ask more questions

Take initiative

Use more questions to make sense

To study real needs of other side

And meet real needs of other side

At same time, pay attention to address and courtesy

It's a good joke

Use people's sense of humor

Empathic communication skills

Three ways to develop empathy

1. Complete self-awareness

A person with full self-awareness

Know who you are

What do you want

What are values ​​and benefits?

At same time, be aware of your weaknesses and shortcomings

He feels safe

Comfortable, tolerant, trusting, capable

I also have strength to let go of my emotions

Values ​​and beliefs

Patient attention to others

Listen and empathize with others

Try to look at problem from other side's point of view

Feel emotions, thoughts, movements of machine, and needs

Full self-awareness

This is basis for developing empathy

The reason lies in a person with full self-awareness

Will not be easily overwhelmed by performance of other party

For example, my inner weakness


Inadequate and hostile

Absolutely not

When someone is talking, I can't listen at all

And it won't

The other side should take care

Using anger to hurt each other while escorting

Always pay attention and dive into each other's heart

2. Be curious


Sometimes referred to as spirit of exploration

That is, explore more possibilities of things


The opposite is persistent and one-sided

For example

When your boss calls you to office

I was scolded for no reason


You can have a lot of guesswork in your head

The boss is sick

I did something wrong

The boss's family is going through a divorce

I'm bored

Often we

Think about opportunity

Begin to act impulsively when emotions are overwhelming


If boss is sick, he will get angry

I feel like I can't stay anymore

Impulsive resignation

The thought "I did something wrong"

Self-pity, anxiety and self-flagellation

Be curious

Think about it

Is there another possibility?

Or ask a question


You lost your temper today

What's going on?


This may encourage other party to reflect on their own behavior


Can find out which of possibilities is correct

Let's get closer to truth

As in previous example

The man said with a smile

I'm divorced

Let's get curious

I'm interested

Why are you smiling?

I'm divorced

3. Confirm if necessary

A person with full self-awareness


After a curious question

He has already spoken to other side

Expression, behavior, emotions, motivation

Good understanding of logic of thinking


Deep empathy


The situation is difficult

Or when self-understanding is not enough


There is another important skill, which is called


Still same previous example

Looking at you, smiling and saying you're divorced

It must be a relief. Right?

Common situation

Many people meet



All kinds of bad thoughts often arise in my heart

For example, other side doesn't like me

What did I do wrong

Often even simplest

The other party is unhappy

I don't feel it

It is impossible to give other side help and warmth they need


The reason is mainly due to fragility of heart

Glass heart

This is incomplete self-awareness


Currently available


Such skills to test your own ideas

For example

Ask other person directly

Look at your unhappy face

Did I do something wrong?